it is very important that you realize that they are Lying. I don’t know who these people are making bold statements like that, but they should really know better. tear free, water resistant,  easy to open. hah, Lies. i once spent half an hour trying to get an eas to open bag of shredded cheese open only to tear it in half and have to clean up half a bag of cheese off the floor. i should know better i really should, but i was under the impression that when i washed my infant daughters hair with “tear free” shampoo she would not cry. alas, she wailed. tears the size of mack trucks driving down her cheeks. i should have known, she does the same thing with tap water. pain free = tear free i’m afrid not.

i guess i’ve been looking at a lot of labels lately. the other day i notced that popular athletic apperal brand nike spells their name incorrectly. it should be nikie or even nieky would be acceptable. think about it, ike ike, like, bike, spike…nike? i think not.

I was at he grocery store the other day with harper. she makes shoppping way more fun. suddenly everyone who is normally rude, pushy, and moody in the supermarcado is my new best friend. they become sweet, helpful, and don’t dare let their carts touch mine. if you don’t have a baby i reccomend borrowing one for grocery day. another plus, shampoo is not tear free, but shopping carts are, babies love them it gives them a sense of superiority and they dig that. so i hang out around kroger a lot, the guy at the sushi counter thinks harper is a cutie. but he still won’t give me free eel rolls.

harper in all her cuteness has stopped sleeping, which means i have also stopped sleeping. i only sleep a handfull of hours a night, but i need them i found myself in an argument with the mirror wether or not to shave today. when i realized my reflection wasn’tmy father i calmed down… untill i realized the horror of that statement so i argued with the mirror some more about wether or not i looked like him.

some people have asked me is everything on here true? Yes. others have mused that it is a vent for pent up agression. not so much. this summer i just realized that a high number of extremly rediculous things happen to me on a daily basis. i thought i’d tell people about them, maybe you people would be interested?

so what have we learned today class? life isn’ t tear free…and nike is spelled wrong.

lately my fixation has started to bleed over to my daughter harper, she’s the prettiest baby that has every existed and if you argue with me i will kill you. every time were in public i have to fight off the urges to yell things like, “hey buddy if you think my baby is to young to be in the pool then why don’t you set an example and keep that elephant of a dog on a leash?” , and ” hey lady! touch the baby again and your going to have to fish your hand out of a piranha tank!”

i’m sure i’m destined to be one of those parents that ends up on the news for assaulting someone in public.

but on a lighter note i was watching tv yesterday and saw an ad for a new show on ABC family, “ten things i hate about you” a spin off of a so- so heath ledger movie that was base on the taming of the shrew by shakespeare. it got me thinking on how nothing on tv is really new anymore. essentially we’ve had 32 versions of i love lucy, 14 of the jeffersons, and 7 of the andy griffith show, so i figured it’s only a matter of time before they just start combining when that comes oh tv god’s, i am ready. you take that show “ten things i hate about you” and smash it up with “how i met your mother” and voila, you have “ten things i hate about your mother” a show about a divorcee and his teenage son/daughter who has to deal on a daily basis with his homicidal ex-wife. tv gold. or “brooke knows the squidbillies” where brooke hogan is sent to live in the mountains with a bunch of redneck cephelopods after she runs out of her fathers money. and my personal favorite, “jon and kate clean house” niece nash helps the gosslins heal their marriage and get rid of all the crap you know they have, but the cameras don’t show you. you don’t want to miss this one at the yard sale trish accidentally sells aiden. oops!

i think people are genuinely interested in eachother, i don’t mean nessicarily like a realtionship, but more like as characters. take reality shows, ‘jon and kate plus eight’ is a prime example of that. those kids are really cute don’t get me wrong, but people seemed as upset about their impending divorce as they about finding out about the same thing happening in their own extended family. but beyond that i think everyone has a few friends that you want to know what they are up to, because they are genuinely interesting. i know i do, and quite a few that post on facebook twenty seven times a day that need to cool it. but peoplpe are intersting, somtimes i think it would be a good idea to just walk around with a camera and take videos of people doing things that i thought were interesting. entertaining yes, creepy and potentially illigal also yes. so i nixed that idea. but on a different less salkerific note i started reading the clssifieds. around here they are pretty tame, you know the type puppies need a home, lawnmower for sale, you see them all the time. then i get one that catches my eye and i can’t stop laughing ‘blonde 42 year old looking for a good time, lots of experiance’ and then the adress. oh my good lord, i think there might just be a prostotution ring in floyd county. i can’t  belive this is in the paper, if your not laughing now, you should be. the other day my dad brought over a weekly paper from cedar bluff alabama. now as expected it’s no new york times, but some of these ads have more entertainment value than two for one day down at the video hut/tanning salon. so i’m reading along and this one caught my eye, ’36 years old, brown hair. 5’2 160 lbs. seeking correspondance with potential to for a relationship. my interests are fishing, yard sales, flea markets, and football. should be released in six months, i am allowed congegal visits!’ i stopped laughing eventually but it was the next morning and they had all the latest on michael jackson’s death on cnn. i don’t know what all he was but funny wasn’t usually one of them.

i guess the big picture here is that we aught to be nice to people, because you never know who might get out on good behavior in 3to 9 months.

         i suppose i better intruduce myself if were going to be having these in depth disscussions about life, the universe and everything. my name is matt. i live in rome georgia where i go to a small baptist colege that i wont mention by name.i live in an apartment with my wife megan and our daughter harper. sometimes i wonder what my purpose in life is, then harper reminds me hat it’s to get her a bottle right freakin’ now. i play in a fantasy baseball league, i’m insecond place right now.  i play golf when i et the chance, i’m not that good.  i drive a 1995 toyota avalon, that has so many miles on it , it could have gone around the earth nine times. so tell me about yourself…

alright, now that we know eachother a little better i’ll get back to rambling towards a point.  i spend a lot of my time takng care of harper, she’s a handfull, but it’s not really all that much work, at least right now. i don’t have a job right now though not for a lack of trying so to get out in the world i go places and amuse myself by doing things that don’t really cost  a lot and are very intertaing. while i’m out doing these things i listen to people, and people especially one’s who don’t know they are funny are hillarius. one of the places i go for amusement is the driving range there is a group of older gentlemen who gather there at least a couple days a week to hit their enormous senior size drivers and talk to eachother. they talk about sports, politics, the media all kinds of things that mostly sound about like this, “They say that the braves are going to trade francour,” “They say that ole’ obama is gonna’ get us in a war with korea” “They say bill o’riley is a closet homo.” i don’t know where they get their information, but they entertainment aspect is priceless. another place i frequent is the library, where on any given day you can find inbetween five and fifteen hippies and stoners leaning over computers for hours at a time. fyi hippies are stoners over 40, i heard they had some sort value system but i’ve never seen it in action, or heard anyone explain to who makes any sense. they are if possible funnier than the old guys. you hear them mumbling to anyone who will listen, “i hear They made a car that runs on air man” “They told me my buddy barak is going to legalize marijuanna man” ” dude, They say the moon landing was a fake man”, “shut up man you’ve been saying that sice 1972″.  this got me thinking who are They, and why do they know everything? who is in this cosmic brain trust that controlls all knowledge in the know universe? but  after thinking about it a little longer, i put 2 and 2 together, and decided they are pissing me off. lying to old guys and hippies, not to mention every waffel house waitress in america, your mother would be ashamed.

    speaking of getting angry, i will tell you of my plight in the great search for a job. toy’s r us won’t return my calls, the parks and rec assocoation is a no go, and every decdent internship has been filled  since november. the only people hiring, and i get two e-mails from these people a day, are multi-level marketing aka”pyramid scheme” life insurnce. they pay you almost no money to scare poor or old people into buying life insurnce at a rate they can’t afford. freaking fantastic.

so to all the pyramid sheme life insureance companies, and all of the They out there, go stick your heard up an aligators freashly waxed rear end.